kevandtrish@rogers.com asked:
A friend from my club’s husband passed away and I want to go to the visitation this afternoon. The only issue is that I’m at home with my infant (7 month old) son. Not sure if its acceptable to bring him along or not… obviously I won’t bring him in if he’s fussy or making any sort of scene but a baby in itself can be a distraction.
A friend from my club’s husband passed away and I want to go to the visitation this afternoon. The only issue is that I’m at home with my infant (7 month old) son. Not sure if its acceptable to bring him along or not… obviously I won’t bring him in if he’s fussy or making any sort of scene but a baby in itself can be a distraction.
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
I would bring him. I brought my daughter who was 3 months old at the time to my grandmothers visitation, service and burial. She was fine. She got a little fussy at the service so I just stepped out to calm her down. 7 months old is pretty good. Just make sure you bring everything you need ie food, diapers, pacifiers
You’re right – a baby can be a distraction, but, at every funeral I’ve ever attended, a baby or a child was a *welcome* distraction.
Bring baby along, make sure you bring him outside if he’s being fussy or crying. Most funeral homes have a separate room where coffee & snacks are served. Some even have toys & dvds for little kids.
Funerals are for the living, to help them share memories, express their grief, figure out how to fit this loss into their continuing lives. A baby or child is a nice reminder, for some, of the gentler side of the deceased and of the circle of life.
If it were family I would go without question. Or, if it were a close, personal friend. However, I’m not sure I would go if it were just an acquaintance friend.
I guess the best question would be to ask yourself how your friend would feel about you NOT coming. I think it would be better to go with the baby, even if it were only for a few minutes.
I think it will be okay to bring the baby. Just make sure you excuse yourself if the baby gets fussy or just pop in for a sec just to show your respect. Your friend will really appreciate you coming.
i agree with the other poster,,,a baby can be a wonderful distraction. it is a very sad time and a happy beautiful baby can lift the mood for a short time. also agree that if baby is fussy or crying to leave the room. our kids were not babies at my mothers funeral but they were 5,5,4 and 1 and we let them roam, play, talk, color, watch movies etc. My mother lived her life around her grandchildren and we let them do what they wanted knowing that grandma would want it that way. (we did the same at my grandmothers funeral).
if baby is in a good mood and you are ready, take baby along. if you can try and go after a nap/lunch time so baby is happy and refreshed.
I’d say it’s okay to pay your respects. Just walk in and walk out. Don’t stick around. And as you said, if the baby is fussy, send a card with your condolences.
I’m sure either way, seeing you pay your respects is more meaningful than the fact that you have your infant with you.
Good luck! I’m sorry for your loss…
I would think a child as young as 7 months old would be fine to bring to a visitation. Make sure you’re available to leave if he gets fussy. People may actually enjoy seeing a happy, beautiful baby at such a time of sorrow.
Even if you only go for a short time, I think the family would be really touched if you go. I took my son to his great grandfathers funeral, he was around the same age as your son, and he was well behaved the entire time, even making his great grandmother laugh at one point (there was a whole smelly nappy + funeral car incident…).
You’ll be able to tell if they are uncomfortable with you being there anyway. Go along, pay your respects.